Skip to main content

Angel

It has been a very difficult 10 days. I apologize for my sudden absence. And, I have to keep this post to a minimum right now, just because I'm not in an emotional state to really elaborate. 

But I do want to write about this, even though I know its not an easy or fun topic. Above all, this blog is my journal, my outlet, and my memories. In 15 years, I want those memories to include the good times and the challenging ones. Plus, I think this baby deserves her story...

I don't think it has been a big secret that Morgan and I have wanted to expand our family. Well, we had been trying for awhile and were successful in July. 

We were over the moon excited. 

At 6 weeks 3 days, Morgan and I went into the doctor for an early ultrasound. We were expecting to see a baby with a heartbeat to confirm the pregnancy. Instead, we were crushed. 

We saw a gestational sac and absolutely nothing else. The doctor told us not to totally lose hope yet and scheduled another ultrasound for two days later. Sadly, that ultrasound at 6 weeks 5 days showed no change. Nothing. No baby. No heartbeat. 

Devastation doesn't quite sum up the feeling Morgan and I felt.

I think that's all I can muster for now. I do want to take this opportunity to thank those of you that knew what was happening and have supported Morgan and I over the last two weeks. Your thoughts and prayers meant more than you will ever know. 

I know this just wasn't God's timing. And now, I know, we all have an angel watching over us. 

Comments

Heather said…
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I don't know if i have any great words of wisdom that would make a difference, but just wanted to let you know that i'm thinking of you and your family. Make sure to give you little man of yours lots of hugs and snuggles.
Lindsay said…
Nicole, I'm so absolutely sorry for your loss. I don't even know what to say, other than our thoughts and love are with you and your family during this time. I know I'm far away but please, please don't hesitate to reach out if you need a friend to talk to, to cry to -- I'm always here for you. Thinking of you.
Kaysha said…
I know I am just a person from the blog world, but I wanted to say I am so so sorry. I went through something similar a couple of years ago and know that there are no words that can make it any better. Everyone is different, but I got a little stork/baby ornament for my tree that year so that I will always have something to remember the baby I never got to meet. Maybe something similar would help you feel at least a little bit better. You'll be in my prayers.
Claire said…
Nicole I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers and hope that you find peace soon.
Kim Chodorowski said…
Oh Nicole, I am so so sorry to hear this. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you. <3 you!
Katie said…
I'm so sorry, Nicole. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I'm so so sorry for your loss, Nicole :(
SAH Attorney said…
I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I went through a very similar experience two years ago, it is so hard. ((HUGS))
Briana said…
I am so sorry, Nicole. You are in my thoughts.
Thank you for stopping by and sharing this link with me. I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know if you have ever heard about the Shrine of the Unborn. If not check it out here http://innocents.com/shrine.asp It helps me to know that someone else is praying and thinking of my little angel and saying a little prayer for her. Maybe it will help you too.

Popular Posts

The Ultimate Montessori Toy List -- Birth to Five -- UPDATED 2020

When you are interested in Montessori, it can be difficult to know exactly what types of products you should get for your home. Or which types of "Montessori" materials are really worth the price. There are no rules about types of products can use the name Montessori which can add to the confusion. Not to mention, every toy manufacturer slaps the word "educational" on the package for good measure! 2020 UPDATE: This list is updated for another year! Enjoy a variety of Montessori friendly finds from both major retailers and smaller shops!  So, with this post, I'm going to try to help with this confusion! Here's a list of Montessori-friendly toys and materials for babies, toddlers and preschoolers.  First, let's clarify that there is no such thing as a "Montessori toy." Montessori never created toys, but only works for classroom settings. While there are many works that I recommend for home school use, you won't find these

Sensitive Periods from Birth to 6 - A Chart and Guide

Dr. Maria Montessori spent her life observing, studying, and writing about children. During her lifetime of work she discovered that young children move through a series of special times when they are particularly attracted to specific developmental needs and interests. She called these times, sensitive periods. During the sensitive period, children learn skills related to the sensitive period with ease. They don't tire of that work, but seek it, crave it and need it. When the sensitive period passes, this intense desire is gone, never to return.  That doesn't mean the skill is lost forever once the sensitive period is over. Instead, it just means that it will take a more conscious effort to learn. As Dr. Montessori explains,  This post contains affiliate links at no cost to you. "A child learns to adjust himself and make acquisitions in his sensitive periods. These are like a beam that lights interiorly a battery that furnishes energy. It is this sensibility which enables

Our Kids' Montessori Gift Lists 2020

With the holiday season upon us we've been making lists and gathering gifts for the Kavanaugh children. It's always a fun process of observing my children, seeing what they would really be interested in and making some decisions based on what I see. This year is different because I'm also making decisions knowing that we are looking at a very long and quiet winter ahead. So that's influencing the amount I will buy and the specific choices I will/have made.  Henry and Nora are also at the point, being into the second plane of development, where they heavily influence the items on the list and what is ultimately purchased. So, you'll see that while Montessori influences what I will purchase and what goes on their list, so does their own preferences and personality.  This post contains affiliate links at no cost to you.  Theodore Teddy is 14-months-old right now and as the fourth baby, we have so many toddler things. But, there are a few things I've still found tha