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Today I Remember

Today is October 15 -- Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. 


Today, I remember. 

I remember the joy, the anxiety, the worry, the anticipation, the loss. These 4 babies are never far from my mind but today I will take time to think about each one and their story. While each pregnancy ended, none of them were the same. They each have their own story

Today, I grieve. 

I grieve for the babies that I never got to hold. I grieve for the unanswered questions. Were they boys or girls? Would they have a killer pout? Brown eyes? Easy births? Easy going or particular? I'll never get these answers on Earth. I don't get to hear their voices, to see them smile, to hug and kiss them.

Today, I celebrate 4 lives. 

I celebrate because for brief moments my children were on earth. They existed. And I believe they are waiting for me. They were not made up. They were some figment of my imagination, they were not just two lines on some test, or a chemical imbalance. They are my children.

If you have suffered a pregnancy or infant loss you are not alone. In fact, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss. You are never alone. Today, I remember, grieve, and celebrate with you. Because your loss is real and your baby matters.

Throughout the day, 4 candles will burn in my house. One for each little life. And, I will remember, I will grieve, I will celebrate.

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