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Angel

It has been a very difficult 10 days. I apologize for my sudden absence. And, I have to keep this post to a minimum right now, just because I'm not in an emotional state to really elaborate. 

But I do want to write about this, even though I know its not an easy or fun topic. Above all, this blog is my journal, my outlet, and my memories. In 15 years, I want those memories to include the good times and the challenging ones. Plus, I think this baby deserves her story...

I don't think it has been a big secret that Morgan and I have wanted to expand our family. Well, we had been trying for awhile and were successful in July. 

We were over the moon excited. 

At 6 weeks 3 days, Morgan and I went into the doctor for an early ultrasound. We were expecting to see a baby with a heartbeat to confirm the pregnancy. Instead, we were crushed. 

We saw a gestational sac and absolutely nothing else. The doctor told us not to totally lose hope yet and scheduled another ultrasound for two days later. Sadly, that ultrasound at 6 weeks 5 days showed no change. Nothing. No baby. No heartbeat. 

Devastation doesn't quite sum up the feeling Morgan and I felt.

I think that's all I can muster for now. I do want to take this opportunity to thank those of you that knew what was happening and have supported Morgan and I over the last two weeks. Your thoughts and prayers meant more than you will ever know. 

I know this just wasn't God's timing. And now, I know, we all have an angel watching over us. 

Comments

Heather said…
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I don't know if i have any great words of wisdom that would make a difference, but just wanted to let you know that i'm thinking of you and your family. Make sure to give you little man of yours lots of hugs and snuggles.
Lindsay said…
Nicole, I'm so absolutely sorry for your loss. I don't even know what to say, other than our thoughts and love are with you and your family during this time. I know I'm far away but please, please don't hesitate to reach out if you need a friend to talk to, to cry to -- I'm always here for you. Thinking of you.
Kaysha said…
I know I am just a person from the blog world, but I wanted to say I am so so sorry. I went through something similar a couple of years ago and know that there are no words that can make it any better. Everyone is different, but I got a little stork/baby ornament for my tree that year so that I will always have something to remember the baby I never got to meet. Maybe something similar would help you feel at least a little bit better. You'll be in my prayers.
Claire said…
Nicole I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers and hope that you find peace soon.
Kim Chodorowski said…
Oh Nicole, I am so so sorry to hear this. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you. <3 you!
Katie said…
I'm so sorry, Nicole. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I'm so so sorry for your loss, Nicole :(
SAH Attorney said…
I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I went through a very similar experience two years ago, it is so hard. ((HUGS))
Briana said…
I am so sorry, Nicole. You are in my thoughts.
Thank you for stopping by and sharing this link with me. I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know if you have ever heard about the Shrine of the Unborn. If not check it out here http://innocents.com/shrine.asp It helps me to know that someone else is praying and thinking of my little angel and saying a little prayer for her. Maybe it will help you too.

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