Sunday, August 26, 2012

Angel

It has been a very difficult 10 days. I apologize for my sudden absence. And, I have to keep this post to a minimum right now, just because I'm not in an emotional state to really elaborate. 

But I do want to write about this, even though I know its not an easy or fun topic. Above all, this blog is my journal, my outlet, and my memories. In 15 years, I want those memories to include the good times and the challenging ones. Plus, I think this baby deserves her story...

I don't think it has been a big secret that Morgan and I have wanted to expand our family. Well, we had been trying for awhile and were successful in July. 

We were over the moon excited. 

At 6 weeks 3 days, Morgan and I went into the doctor for an early ultrasound. We were expecting to see a baby with a heartbeat to confirm the pregnancy. Instead, we were crushed. 

We saw a gestational sac and absolutely nothing else. The doctor told us not to totally lose hope yet and scheduled another ultrasound for two days later. Sadly, that ultrasound at 6 weeks 5 days showed no change. Nothing. No baby. No heartbeat. 

Devastation doesn't quite sum up the feeling Morgan and I felt.

I think that's all I can muster for now. I do want to take this opportunity to thank those of you that knew what was happening and have supported Morgan and I over the last two weeks. Your thoughts and prayers meant more than you will ever know. 

I know this just wasn't God's timing. And now, I know, we all have an angel watching over us. 

10 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I don't know if i have any great words of wisdom that would make a difference, but just wanted to let you know that i'm thinking of you and your family. Make sure to give you little man of yours lots of hugs and snuggles.

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  2. Nicole, I'm so absolutely sorry for your loss. I don't even know what to say, other than our thoughts and love are with you and your family during this time. I know I'm far away but please, please don't hesitate to reach out if you need a friend to talk to, to cry to -- I'm always here for you. Thinking of you.

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  3. I know I am just a person from the blog world, but I wanted to say I am so so sorry. I went through something similar a couple of years ago and know that there are no words that can make it any better. Everyone is different, but I got a little stork/baby ornament for my tree that year so that I will always have something to remember the baby I never got to meet. Maybe something similar would help you feel at least a little bit better. You'll be in my prayers.

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  4. Nicole I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers and hope that you find peace soon.

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  5. Oh Nicole, I am so so sorry to hear this. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you. <3 you!

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  6. I'm so sorry, Nicole. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  7. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I went through a very similar experience two years ago, it is so hard. ((HUGS))

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  8. I am so sorry, Nicole. You are in my thoughts.

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  9. Thank you for stopping by and sharing this link with me. I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know if you have ever heard about the Shrine of the Unborn. If not check it out here http://innocents.com/shrine.asp It helps me to know that someone else is praying and thinking of my little angel and saying a little prayer for her. Maybe it will help you too.

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