Skip to main content

Angel

It has been a very difficult 10 days. I apologize for my sudden absence. And, I have to keep this post to a minimum right now, just because I'm not in an emotional state to really elaborate. 

But I do want to write about this, even though I know its not an easy or fun topic. Above all, this blog is my journal, my outlet, and my memories. In 15 years, I want those memories to include the good times and the challenging ones. Plus, I think this baby deserves her story...

I don't think it has been a big secret that Morgan and I have wanted to expand our family. Well, we had been trying for awhile and were successful in July. 

We were over the moon excited. 

At 6 weeks 3 days, Morgan and I went into the doctor for an early ultrasound. We were expecting to see a baby with a heartbeat to confirm the pregnancy. Instead, we were crushed. 

We saw a gestational sac and absolutely nothing else. The doctor told us not to totally lose hope yet and scheduled another ultrasound for two days later. Sadly, that ultrasound at 6 weeks 5 days showed no change. Nothing. No baby. No heartbeat. 

Devastation doesn't quite sum up the feeling Morgan and I felt.

I think that's all I can muster for now. I do want to take this opportunity to thank those of you that knew what was happening and have supported Morgan and I over the last two weeks. Your thoughts and prayers meant more than you will ever know. 

I know this just wasn't God's timing. And now, I know, we all have an angel watching over us. 

Comments

Heather said…
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I don't know if i have any great words of wisdom that would make a difference, but just wanted to let you know that i'm thinking of you and your family. Make sure to give you little man of yours lots of hugs and snuggles.
Lindsay said…
Nicole, I'm so absolutely sorry for your loss. I don't even know what to say, other than our thoughts and love are with you and your family during this time. I know I'm far away but please, please don't hesitate to reach out if you need a friend to talk to, to cry to -- I'm always here for you. Thinking of you.
Kaysha said…
I know I am just a person from the blog world, but I wanted to say I am so so sorry. I went through something similar a couple of years ago and know that there are no words that can make it any better. Everyone is different, but I got a little stork/baby ornament for my tree that year so that I will always have something to remember the baby I never got to meet. Maybe something similar would help you feel at least a little bit better. You'll be in my prayers.
Claire said…
Nicole I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers and hope that you find peace soon.
Kim Chodorowski said…
Oh Nicole, I am so so sorry to hear this. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you. <3 you!
Katie said…
I'm so sorry, Nicole. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I'm so so sorry for your loss, Nicole :(
SAH Attorney said…
I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I went through a very similar experience two years ago, it is so hard. ((HUGS))
Briana said…
I am so sorry, Nicole. You are in my thoughts.
Thank you for stopping by and sharing this link with me. I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know if you have ever heard about the Shrine of the Unborn. If not check it out here http://innocents.com/shrine.asp It helps me to know that someone else is praying and thinking of my little angel and saying a little prayer for her. Maybe it will help you too.

Popular Posts

The Ultimate Montessori Toy List -- Birth to Five -- UPDATED 2019

When you are interested in Montessori, it can be difficult to know exactly what types of products you should get for your home. Or which types of "Montessori" materials are really worth the price. There are no rules about types of products can use the name Montessori which can add to the confusion. Not to mention, every toy manufacturer slaps the word "educational" on the package for good measure!

2019 UPDATE: This post has been updated to include a variety of brands and new product finds! Just a reminder that no one child will be interested in all of this or needs all of this. These toys are just here to spark ideas and give you a feeling for some Montessori-friendly options available! 


So, with this post, I'm going to try to help with this confusion! Here's a list of Montessori-friendly toys and materials for babies, toddlers and preschoolers. 


First, let's clarify that there is no such thing as a "Montessori toy." Montessori never created to…

Which Open-Ended Toys are "Worth it?"

As a Montessori parent, I try to provide a mix of materials in our home to engage my kids! That work that will spark joy, concentration, and repetition. It's not always an easy task, as Maria Montessori said, "Life is mysterious...only the choice of life can choose the work that the child truly needs. Therefore, the teacher respects this mysterious process and knows to wait with faith." So, there does sometimes feel like there is a bit of trial and error when it comes to choosing materials that your children need. 

For us, the right balance is easier to find when I spend time deeply observing my children. Watching their interests, sitting on my hands if I have to, letting them struggle a little with things, and letting them get bored. And what I have personally found is that here at home, a combination of open ended materials and more structured work have been the right balance. Open ended toys wouldn't necessarily be found in a Montessori classroom, but they are perf…

A Montessori Approach to Purging Your Toys

Becoming a Montessori family has been life changing in so many ways, most obviously with the amount and type of materials we use in our home. Once you see why having so many toys is a problem, or when you make the decision to move towards Montessori, it can be completely overwhelming. But, taking a Montessori approach to purging your toys is possible! And, it doesn't exactly mean that you have to throw away everything you have and start over with only expensive wooden toys. It will mean taking a hard look at what you have and whether it really fits with Montessori.


One note, however, Montessori is at its core about following your child's own path and respecting your child as a whole person. So, if your child has a toy, lovey, book, or whatever that your child super loves or is super attached to, but it doesn't fit Montessori ideals, don't take it away. Follow your child, that is more Montessori than whether or not you own some specific consumer product. 
How to Purge You…