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July 01, 2013

94 = Number 4


The grief is unspeakable. This was not my rainbow baby. There may never be a rainbow baby.

I'm in a dark place. Any control I felt I had over my life is long gone. And I don't understand why or how this is happening again. But it is. 

4 miscarriages in 11 months. 

The physical loss hasn't happened yet, so these next few days will be long ones for me. I apologize in advance for my absence. 

But, I do want to thank everyone who reached out to or prayed for me and Morgan over the last few days. Your support really is unbelievably helpful and comforting. 


Support me


Anonymous said…
I am so, so sorry for your loss. You don't know me, but as someone who's experienced multiple miscarriages, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. ((big hugs))
Unknown said…
Oh Nicole, I am so so so sorry :'( My prayers are with you and Morgan and your family.
Heather said…
oh no i'm so sorry nicole :(
Katie said…
I am so, so sorry, Nicole. :(
Dyan Robson
Dyan Robson said…
I'm so sorry, Nicole.
Anonymous said…
I just wanted to say have faith and keep trying. I suffered 9 miscarriages (including two at 8.5 weeks and an ectopic) before getting pregnant with my rainbow baby. The heartache and pain is unimaginable, as I am sure you are well aware, but the joy is worth every ounce of heartache. Get a second opinion, ask questions, and demand answers. I switched doctors and he ran some different tests, changed some meds, and bam, pregnant. I will also say that the mind plays a much bigger role than I could have ever imagined, so like I said, have faith and believe that this WILL happen...just not always when we want. Maybe check out acupuncture too. I really felt like it made a difference in mind and spirit, and I had multiple positives while going. Prayers to you and may God bless you with a beautiful rainbow.
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kim Chodorowski
Kim Chodorowski said…
Nicole, I am so so sorry :(. I will keep you, Morgan, and Henry in my prayers
kristykay123 said…
I'm so sorry love. Big hugs and thoughts your way <3
Sarah said…
Oh Nicole, I am SO sorry. You guys are in my thoughts!
Buffy said…
I love you so much, and I really am so sorry.
Anonymous said…
I'm so very very sorry. Tons of thoughts and prayers for your during this painful time.
cpcable said…
I was so hoping this post wasn't coming today. I'm so very sorry for your loss, Nicole. Sending much love and healing your way.
Michele Chronister
Oh, Nicole, I am so sorry for the loss of your little baby. You (and your little one) will certainly be in my prayers. I am so sorry.
Breanna said…
I am so, so, incredibly sorry :( Please know that I am praying for you and your sweet family, and am here if you need to talk! <3
Anita said…
I am so sorry. Your family is in my heart.
Bri said…
I know there's nothing I can say to make anything better right now, but know I love you and am praying for you and Morgan.
Jade said…
I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling right now. I don't have any comforting words, or hopeful quotes, nothing that can help you right now :-( but I do know that you have your beautiful little boy to give you as many cuddles & kisses as he's able to & hopefully that will help ease at least a little of your pain xxxx
kjw said…
I am so unbelievably sorry. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Unknown said…
My heart breaks for you.
Laura Funk
Laura Funk said…
:( so sorry. Have you looked into Welcome Womb. I had a few miscarriages as well and used Welcome Womb with my last and got my rainbow.
Laura said…
Oh, Nicole, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine.
Mandy said…
I am so so sorry. I am praying for you and Morgan.
Azielle said…
I'm so incredibly sorry that you have to suffer through yet another loss.
I wish with all my heart that soon you will have your rainbow baby.
Amy @ Wildflower Ramblings
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, Nicole. Prayers for you and your family ♥
Unknown said…
Nicole, I am so sorry for your loss. I will continue to pray for you and Morgan in the weeks to come.