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June 12, 2012

Toddle Along Tuesday: Life Changes

This week's topic is all about changes in life after baby. How has life changed since I've had Henry? It may be easier to answer how life hasn't changed, but I'll give it a try -- at least how Henry has changed my direction in life.

Once upon a time, this blog was called The Kavanaugh Report: Law School Edition. Because, once upon a time, I was going to be a lawyer.

Six weeks after I graduated, I found out I was pregnant. On March 18, 2011 my life drastically changed, my direction changed, my dreams changed.

I sat at home dreading the idea of being a lawyer. All I wanted to do was stay at home and have the privileged of being with Henry. Thanks to my wonderful, hardworking, understanding husband, and a great stay-at-home consulting job, Morgan and I have been able to make me staying home a reality -- at least for now.

"You're stuck with me kid!"
After being at home for these last 15 months, and especially after starting tot-school, I truly believe that I have missed my life's calling and should have been a teacher. And, I'm really not sure law school, or being a lawyer, was ever something I truly wanted to do.

But, I've made choices. Choices I'm going to have to pay off live with for a long time. So, eventually I'll work outside my home. Maybe in the legal field, maybe as an attorney, but maybe not.

I know there are people who judge me for this change of heart. Its not easy for me to understand some days either. I worked hard to get my J.D., to graduate Magna Cum Laude, and to pass the bar. Why don't I feel compelled to use my education?

While I don't have an answer to that question, I do know one thing. I'm loving every second of this very unexpected career decision...this amazing life change.

How has your life changed since having a baby? Or after some other big event? Link up at Growing Up Geeky!

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I think you are 100% on a normal path as a mama. Honestly I went through the exact same thoughts after my son was born. While I still have to work part time, I really wanted to forget all the work I had put into my undergrad and master's degrees and stay at home with my child. While you have the best laid plans before you have children, they change you in ways you would have never predicted. Your life becomes about them, and if anyone wants to criticize you for that, ignore them and know in your heart you're doing what you feel is best for your child at this time.
Tasha said…
I should really start a blog too. Might be fun to track all these sleepless days with a 3 week old.

I'm in the opposite boat. To me, it *sounds* nice to be a SAHM with my son...but I'm not cut out for it. Or rather, I'm not cut out to be a stay at home stepmom (we have custody of my husband's two kids from his first marriage, too.) I've been home for 3 weeks with AJ, and I'm ready to go back to work. I don't go back until August 1st, and I'm trying to enjoy the time we have now before I go back to work, but I can't stop checking my work email and checking in with my coworkers and working on a research project on the side while I'm on maternity leave.

But I also really feel that I found my calling in my job. I landed just where I needed to and I love what I do. And I think I'll be a better and more appreciative mom when I go back to work. (And then I'm sure I'll long to be home with my son, haha.)

But I think part of the GOOD part of feminism is that we're allowed to make that choice (at least as far as money is concerned.)
Anonymous said…
I love being a SAHM to Weston. Work was always just work to me, a way to get a paycheck, so I'm absolutely thrilled that for this moment my husband is the one working while I get to stay at home. Each day I have at home is truly a blessing. I've discovered this pride in my stereotypical role. I'm proud and content when my home is clean. I'm so loving gardening; it's like tending to a baby :P I wish I had more time for sewing. I love cooking for my family. I plan to can strawberry jam. In the last several years, my husband has pushed me to find a hobby I was passionate about and I just couldn't find anything that excited me. I only found these hobbies now, after starting our family. I always liked these things before but now I really like them because there is a meaning behind them.

To answer your question: My life has definitely changed, but I was expecting it. We worked hard in prior years to get to the point where I could turn over the breadwinner hat. I'm glad my bachelors degree will be put to use again someday but even then I'm sure I'll just be looking for a paycheck. Sorry employers, I'm not the model employee, I'm too busy being a wife and mother. :P Jessie :)
Lindsay said…
I applaud you for this post SO MUCH. So, so, so much. My whole life, I was THE WRITER. That's how everyone knew me. I had a book published at 16 and I had my heart set on going to this prestigious private college to get my PhD in creative writing and literature. I was going to write books. Well, my husband and I began dating at 15 and, you know, he got a full scholarship to a college in an area where my writing school was not. Young love is a strong thing. I went with him. We started our lives together after high school. He's an accountant now and time slipped away from me and I never finished school after my AA. For years, I was mortified by that. I'd run into former classmates who'd ask me how school was, how my career was -- and I'd cry. I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but when they placed Ethan into my arms for the first time -- this was it. This was my life calling. Raising him, teaching him, spending my life with him -- this was it. This was who I was. This was where I wanted to be at the end of it all, after school, after a career. I like having this blog as a place to write, though maybe different from the books I previously imagined writing, and sometimes I do mess around with stories here and there. Really, though, I never thought I could be so happy and fulfilled. Being a mom is awesome.
Unknown said…
It's amazing how things change once you set eyes on that buddle of joy. I think, before you have a baby, you feel like certain things are important: career, education, self. And then, you have a baby. And you're glad you got the education but you don't see where the career is nearly as important anymore.

I've been sitting here wishing I was a SAHM or WAHM all day....
Sara said…
I've been struggling with some of these same issues lately. I just finished my first year as a professor after 10 years of school to get a PhD and in some ways I want nothing more than to quit my job in December and be a SAHM. We're not really financially able to do that, and I'm also torn about whether or not in reality I would like it. I love my job, and I might not be happy without it. For now I'm planning on working in the spring semester (but primarily from home, teaching online classes), and probably taking the summer off. I'm hoping that this will give me a better idea of what I want long-term.

BTW, thanks for your comment! I'm just starting out blogging seriously and I appreciate it.
Jen + Jeff
Jen + Jeff said…
I found out I was pregnant the day I took and passed my final exam for my Masters in Curriculum and Instruction. One of these days I will go back to teaching. I loved my job and love my new job too!
Unknown said…
I would much prefer to be a SAHM but I'm not complaining too much because our maternity leave is a year. Eventually I'm planning on lowering my contract to half time so that I can be there to pick up my boys from school.
Also, I wanted to mention how much I love your tot-school idea. Is it alright if I borrow/pin some of these ideas. I'm going to be home with my 17 month old at the end of June until Sept 2013 and would love to teach him while I'm off.
Jen @ the mama years
Completely know how you feel! You only get this one life so you have to make it what YOU want. I'm in the same boat. Isn't it silly they let us make major life decision (college, career-track moves) when we are so young and clueless?! Good for you for getting to stay home with your little one. He will thank you for it :)