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The Line Between Scheduled and Over-Scheduled

I'm flirting with a dangerous line...the line between being scheduled and over scheduled. This post comes to you at 4:49 a.m. as I nurse Nora. In fact, it's a safe bet that any post you've read on this blog in the last two months has been written, edited, or scheduled during the middle of the night. {insert joke about the declining quality of the writing, because I'm too tired to think if one}

This isn't because Nora is a particularly bad sleeper, because she really isn't. It's just that life is that scheduled that this is where blogging fits right now. From the moment I wake up, until the moment I crash into bed, I feel like I have something I need to be doing. Between the kids, work, my relationship and maybe a tiny social life, I feel like I've built a house of cards. 

And a lot of the time I really like what I'm doing, don't get me wrong. But, I'm starting to feel the pinch of being a work-at-home mom. Starting to feel like I'm failing at everything because I can't ever just focus my attention on one thing. 

I can't sit and play with Henry as much as I like. I can't blog as much as I want. My house is a mess. Work invoices pile up. Projects are left half done.

It's just hard, this work-at-home mom thing. I wouldn't trade it for the world, but  I'm feeling like any second, this little house of cards could just come crumbling down. 

Please tell me I'm not alone. Do you ever feel this way? 


Comments

Susan said…
Yes! I felt this way last spring when we had something almost every day of the week. My solution was to cut ECFE this year. Granted, I don't have the WAHM role to juggle as well, so it's probably tougher for you. Maybe there's something that you could cut too? Or ask Morgan to pick up (if possible)? And, this sounds counter-intuitive, but schedule some one-on-one time with both Henry & Nora. Just 20 minutes or so, nothing too long. That way you won't feel like you're short-changing them as much. You probably already get your quality time with Nora at night or when Henry is at preschool. Hang in there! You're doing a fantastic job & there's no shame in saying no when you need the time instead.
You are definitely not alone Nicole. I've been struggling as well the moment I had my second baby. The same way the decline of the quality of blog because I tend to avoid proof reading(too busy, can't think what to and how to write it properly etc). Just too many things in my head and responsibilities. Last time, I contemplated and realized that I have too tired and exhausted for the past days because I've been blogging much, thinking much of and spending more time looking up for activities for the kids rather than spending it with them, husband and tidying up the house. So I told myself the reason why I am a stay at home is for the kids, husband and to make a loving stress free home. So for the past weeks I'm spending less in the blogging world and focus on the family.
Audrey said…
Oh you are so so soooo not alone! I told myself that Evie's 3rd month was about getting back into my thesis a bit each week...it has happened once - everything else, and there seems to be so much 'else' right now - barely fits in. AND Teddy is at kindy 3 days a week! My only advice is that this time is a passing, very hard, one & that it will be easier one day (I feel this gives me hope haha) but to survive in the meantime maybe get a bit of time in for yourself? A bath or yoga or a quiet cup of tea or anything that revives you, once a week or 3 minutes a day, will do you a world of good. I stick Teddy in front of the telly with some toast for 15 minutes while I shower with Evie in her bouncer in the bathroom...it is my ritual every morning & I cherish that time. Much love xox

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