Today was my due date for my second miscarried pregnancy. I almost didn't write a post about it, but then I felt guilty. Like, I wasn't properly acknowledging this baby's short life.
This pregnancy was different from the beginning from my other two pregnancies up to this point. With the other two pregnancies, I took the tests because it was time to take the tests. This one, I knew I was pregnant. Long before I could have known. That was what was special about this pregnancy.
But I was also spotting by the time a test confirmed This was also the first time I miscarried at home and marks one of the worst experiences of my life.
I'm sorry, if you guys are sick of reading posts like this. To be honest, I so wish my life wasn't measured by days like this. Over the last year and nine months my life has been defined by my fertility and infertility. Before the losses, time was kept based on days until ovulation, or days post ovulation. Now, life is marked with due dates, and losses. It's an exhausting way to live, but I'm not sure how to change that.
Today is also Morgan's birthday. So, happy birthday Morgan. I'm sorry it's bittersweet.