Pregnant After Loss -- 1st Trimester

I am not a medical expert, or a mental health professional or anyone that can tell you how you should be feeling. But when one in four pregnancies end in loss, so many women get pregnant again on our quest for a rainbow baby. Therefore, I wanted to share my experiences with specifically being pregnant after a loss {or four in my case} during each trimester.

For me, first trimester was difficult. Really really difficult. Yes, the physical stuff is hard but emotionally its a trip. I almost hoped I would have tough days with the morning sickness so at least I knew that something was happening.

I had irresistible urges to take a million pregnancy tests, making sure lines were getting darker. Every twinge of pain (totally normal 1st trimester cramps and stretching) sent me running to the bathroom. Getting the results of my blood draws sent me into a panic attack, where I had to focus on catching my breath. The ultrasounds were the same way.

Emotionally I was constantly preparing for miscarriage. I made sure I had all the physical supplies I would need should a loss occur. I constantly, depending on the time of week, kept a mental tally of who I had to email and call to clear my schedule. I stopped just short of having a blog post explaining my absence already written.

I'm not saying these things to try to scare people who may be trying to get pregnant after a loss. I just want to share my experience. And say, that while it was scary, difficult and painful, I made it. I survived. You can survive. Somethings that helped me:

Take it a day at a time. Just one day. Everyone can live through one day
Decide if medical information and intervention relieves or causes stress and schedule/cancel intervention accordingly
Get a support system -- for me I have a wonderful group of ladies who are my virtual BFFs. We've been friends since we were all pregnant way back in 2010 and they are there for me day and night. And I have my lovely readers, who have been amazing and listened. Confide in someone about the pregnancy, find an online community, or start a blog. Sometimes just getting fears {even irrational ones} out helped me greatly.
Know it's alright to ignore the pregnancy. You don't have to think about it all the time. You don't have to talk about it.

1st trimester passed quicker than I expected. And as the weeks passed, and our medical checks were positive, I felt more and more confident that I wasn't going to miscarry. It was all about survival. I survived. And so can you.

Does anyone have a different experience being pregnant after a loss? What helped you during the 1st trimester?

The Ultimate Montessori Toy List -- Birth to Five -- UPDATED 2021

When you are interested in Montessori, it can be difficult to know exactly what types of products you should get for your home. Or which types of "Montessori" materials are really worth the price. There are no rules about types of products can use the name Montessori which can add to the confusion. Not to mention, every toy manufacturer slaps the word "educational" on the package for good measure! 2021 UPDATE: Please be patient with links this year, with supply chain issues things are selling out faster and restocking slower. I anticipate some of the specialty toys will not restock once they are gone. Puzzles, in particular, have been difficult to find in stock. So, with this post, I'm going to try to help with this confusion! Here's a list of Montessori-friendly toys and materials for babies, toddlers and preschoolers. First, let's clarify that there is no such thing as a "Montessori toy." Montessori never created toys, bu

Montessori Toddler: Favorite Toys and Activities 18 to 20 months

I've been putting off this post for a little while because I felt a little disappointed that I didn't have more to share. See, Teddy just isn't that into materials, especially those on the shelf. He tends to return to a couple of favorites over and over again and ignore all other attempts at shelf work. But, really that's my own adult feelings getting in the way of Teddy's own interests, and developmental path. It's also me subconsciously valuing fine motor skills and stillness as more important than gross motor play and movement. I working hard not to do that, and want to normalize that all toddlers are different. All children have different interests and that concentration doesn't have to mean sitting still for long stretches of time. This post contains affiliate links at no cost to you. With all that said, here are some of Teddy's favorites over the last couple of months. Favorite Montessori Toys 18 to 20 Months I'm listing the toys that have be

Our Family's Montessori Christmas Gift Lists 2021

It's hard to believe another holiday season is upon us again. Every year I enjoy putting together my kids' Christmas gift lists. It's really a good time to observe them, see what they are interested in and what they might be ready for during this coming year. It's one of the few times a year that I purchase new materials for our home so it's always really exciting. IF YOU NEED MORE IDEAS DON'T MISS MY ULTIMATE MONTESSORI TOY LIST OR MY 2021 DEALS PAGE ! When considering these lists, please remember that these were curated based on my own children. Use them for inspiration but they are heavily influenced by what my children are into and interested in. And for my older second plane children, what they have asked for! Here's a look at our family's Montessori Christmas lists for 2021! This post contains affiliate links at no cost to you. Theodore (Toddler) Teddy is just over 2-years-old. Being our fourth baby, he is really hard for me to think of unique

Comments

Anonymous said…

I had a loss at 18 weeks, then we got pregnant shortly after that. My focal point was prayer, prayer, prayer and actually being thankful that I was high risk so that my fears could be alleviated more frequently. Every BP check was a nightmare...I was scared it would go back down to "healthy range"...which is what happened at the appointment when I found out we had lost Parker. I agree with getting a support system, as well as knowing that you don't have to talk about your pregnancy, or even think about it at times. YOUR mental health is what's important, not what everyone sees on the outside.

January 8, 2014 at 10:30 AM

Wow. Thanks so much for sharing and being real. I'd love to connect with you, as my husband and I have had 2 miscarriages in 2 years--still no baby. We've been trying for our first for about 3 years now and the emotions-like you said- are all over the place. I've learned so much about myself through this journey that I never expected to go through. Again, thanks for sharing and being transparent and real. It's nice to see someone on the "other side" as it's my hope we will be too someday soon.
My blog is www.anchorsthesoul.blogspot.com & email through Google+ :)

January 8, 2014 at 5:18 PM

I loved reading this. I miscarried a few years ago at 6 weeks. Today I am 5w3days pregnant. It is my first last and every thought that something may happen and I too am willing for symptoms so I can believe that I really am pregnant and that all will be well. I have booked a scan for 7 weeks to reassure myself that all is well. I hope that after that I will relax a little... one day at a time is all we can do for now.

January 4, 2016 at 7:53 AM

I miscarried at 6 weeks Jan 17 2016. I'm now pregnant after a year of trying. I am filled with joy at every symptom I have then worry when they lessen that day. I'm now almost 9 weeks and on bed rest I found praying helps most days but still doesn't keep me from worrying that when I go to the bathroom next will there be blood. It's a constant battle with myself to stay joyful. Glad to know I'm not in this alone. Can't wait to hold my living healthy baby.

February 24, 2017 at 10:40 PM

The Kavanaugh Report

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