Skip to main content


Our first RE appointment is tomorrow. I'm so excited -- 6 weeks without having a plan has been killing me. But I'm also super nervous. I just don't know what I want out of this appointment. 

Part of me is so scared, although this is unlikely, that the RE is going to say "you're hopeless, time to move on, be happy with the kid you have." Ok, so maybe that is really really unlikely. But, I am really afraid of a low percentage of success and knowing that we may walk away with more bad news. 

On the other hand, I'm super afraid that he's going to say "easy, peazy, you're going to be pregnant is no time." Because, then I have to be pregnant again. And, I think its safe to say that the anxiety I have about getting another positive pregnancy test is pretty daunting at the moment. 

I know, I'm coming off a little crazy here. Fear of not being able to get pregnant, fear of pregnancy. Perfect. So...that's where I'm at. 

I'm coping by nervous crafting today. Painting wooden crates I picked up at Goodwill and some wooden letters for Hen's big boy room, that is officially getting underway. At least I can use my nervous energy for some good. 


Good luck! I understand your anxiety about that. Don't get me wrong - I'm an anxious person already. But the conflict of "am I pregnant?" vs. "what if I can't get pregnant?" is so daunting!
Sarah said…
Thinking of you!
Beth said…
Omg. Nicole.

So I got to your blog after you kindly stopped by mine, and I was like, "Neat! Her kid is close in age to my kid's! Ooh, and she does just the sort of activities with him I love to do with my child! Ooh, and they're easily pinnable!" Win.

But then I read this post, and I was like, "Ok, how is Nicole not my bff on the Internet yet?"

(Sorry--moving too fast? I sorta just met you, and already I'm declaring my intention to make you my internet bff. I am probably moving too fast. I tend to get over-excited. It's okay if you don't want to be bffs. If that is the case, I'll probably just turn into your blog-stalker, haha.)

But I just read this post, and I was like, Holy Cow, Nicole and I, we have to be friends. Because what you said: that's it, that's it exactly.

We're also on the ttc path. Haven't told many people on Internet-land about that, but there ya go. And I have the EXACT SAME THOUGHTS about fearing NOT being able to get pregnant again versus OMG What would I do if I were pregnant!??? I thought I was the only person in the whole world with pendulum-y thoughts like this, and now I'm so glad to find out I'm not alone!

Now I guess I just need some crates to paint.
Kirstylee said…
Good luck! I had a miscarriage and then got pregnant soon after. What I didn't expect was how nervous I would be with my NEXT pregnancy. Of course, every second I was just waiting to have another miscarriage. All I know is that it helps me to stay calm, but it's okay to be nervous too. You have good reason!
Its a seriously crazy way to have to think! But lets be internet friends!!

Popular Posts

The Ultimate Montessori Toy List -- Birth to Five -- UPDATED 2021

When you are interested in Montessori, it can be difficult to know exactly what types of products you should get for your home. Or which types of "Montessori" materials are really worth the price. There are no rules about types of products can use the name Montessori which can add to the confusion. Not to mention, every toy manufacturer slaps the word "educational" on the package for good measure! 2021 UPDATE: Please be patient with links this year, with supply chain issues things are selling out faster and restocking slower. I anticipate some of the specialty toys will not restock once they are gone. Puzzles, in particular, have been difficult to find in stock. So, with this post, I'm going to try to help with this confusion! Here's a list of Montessori-friendly toys and materials for babies, toddlers and preschoolers.  First, let's clarify that there is no such thing as a "Montessori toy." Montessori never created toys, bu

Montessori Toddler: Favorite Toys and Activities 18 to 20 months

I've been putting off this post for a little while because I felt a little disappointed that I didn't have more to share. See, Teddy just isn't that into materials, especially those on the shelf. He tends to return to a couple of favorites over and over again and ignore all other attempts at shelf work. But, really that's my own adult feelings getting in the way of Teddy's own interests, and developmental path.  It's also me subconsciously valuing fine motor skills and stillness as more important than gross motor play and movement. I working hard not to do that, and want to normalize that all toddlers are different. All children have different interests and that concentration doesn't have to mean sitting still for long stretches of time.  This post contains affiliate links at no cost to you. With all that said, here are some of Teddy's favorites over the last couple of months. Favorite Montessori Toys 18 to 20 Months I'm listing the toys that have be

Our Family's Montessori Christmas Gift Lists 2021

It's hard to believe another holiday season is upon us again. Every year I enjoy putting together my kids' Christmas gift lists. It's really a good time to observe them, see what they are interested in and what they might be ready for during this coming year. It's one of the few times a year that I purchase new materials for our home so it's always really exciting. IF YOU NEED MORE IDEAS DON'T MISS MY ULTIMATE MONTESSORI TOY LIST OR MY 2021 DEALS PAGE ! When considering these lists, please remember that these were curated based on my own children. Use them for inspiration but they are heavily influenced by what my children are into and interested in. And for my older second plane children, what they have asked for!  Here's a look at our family's Montessori Christmas lists for 2021!  This post contains affiliate links at no cost to you.  Theodore (Toddler) Teddy is just over 2-years-old. Being our fourth baby, he is really hard for me to think of unique