Tuesday, December 31, 2013

12 from 2013

12 great pictures from 2013!

January


February


March


April


May


June


July


August


September


October


November


December



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Monday, December 30, 2013

The Most Difficult Year: 2013 Recap

In December 2012, I thought I had just lived through one of the hardest years of my life. And, I had. But then 2013 happened, and blew 2012 right out of the water. 

This year. I don't even know what to say. It has been the hardest, most challenging, worst, horrible, life-changing year. And, I already know what some of you are thinking -- I have a wonderful supportive husband, a healthy happy toddler and wiggly little inside-baby. But, getting to this place has sucked. A lot. 

This year I miscarried a child in January, March and July. I was on some sort of fertility drug (either progesterone or clomid) for nearly 6 months this year. We spent thousands of dollars on medical testing that led to zero answers. We suffered failed fertility treatments -- which those of you have struggled with infertility know is a devastation in and of itself. 

We hit 12 months of trying for a second child, then 18 months, then 22 months before getting our 5th positive test. We endured weeks of uncertainty {with a 50 to 60 percent chance of failure} to learn whether this pregnancy was even viable. 

I have battled depression, for the first time in my life. Depression that has effected my ability to parent and to be a good spouse. I have been downright difficult a lot of the time -- and Morgan deserves a metal for having to deal with me. He even stuck me with a needle {as part of the fertility treatments} with a smile. And speaking of Morgan, our relationship has had to endure these struggles. It hasn't been easy -- especially when money and time for date nights has been short. 

And Henry, he's had to come with me to so many doctor appointments, blood draws, and ultrasounds. He's had to deal with a mom that can't control her emotions, a mother who has been in physical and emotional pain, and mom who was so tired that some days she couldn't even get off the couch.   

Don't get me wrong, there's been joy this year too. Long, warm summer days where we made the absolute most of our time as a family. Our trip to Chicago to visit some of our favorite people. Henry's 2nd birthday. This blog's success. My time at Blogher. Our new nephew. Seeing Baby K 2.0's heart beating.  

I hope this joy multiplies by infinity in 2014. As the door closes on 2013, I don't plan on looking back. It may be a struggle, and one that I have to work really hard on, but I really want to try to leave the pain of 2013 right here, and just be done. 

So, here's to 2014, and all the hope, promise and joy a new year can bring. 

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Friday, December 27, 2013

Christmas 2013

I'm not sure when Christmas officially became the season of being rushed, but this year, that's certainly what it felt like. Rushed from one house to another, from one meal to the next, from one present to the next, and so on. But, here we are December 27, and it's the first time I feel like I've had a chance to just sit. 


{I love these kids! E-2.5, J-5, H-2.5, K-13, E-3m. How can you not love cousins dressed in matching Christmas jammies?!}


But, we were blessed to be with our families and had a wonderful time traveling and seeing everyone. Because of my work schedule and Morgan's it was a very short trip -- only spending 2 days in Eau Claire -- which probably added to the rushed-feelings. 



This year, we stuck with tradition and spent Christmas Eve with Morgan's side, and Christmas Day with mine. Both days were filled with family, late nights, delicious food, and too many treats. My new found 2nd trimester appetite was not complaining about the last part! 




Henry was so excited for Christmas this year. I was really looking forward to the days with him. But, in the moment, it was clear it was all a little too much for him. He refused to actually open anything himself, and made Morgan or me do it. Once the first present was open, he had ZERO interest in opening anything else. And, it was just kinda clear he didn't enjoy all the attention. I was a little disappointed that he didn't rip into his presents the way his cousins did, but he will get there at his own pace. 



Overall, it was a wonderful holiday. I hope Christmas brought you as much joy and love as it did for our family. Merry Christmas! 

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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Christmas Tree Gamble

Every year, Morgan and I head over to a Christmas tree lot in the parking lot of a local hardware store. We're city folks at heart, and have no desire to trek out into the wilderness to cut something down. And this tree lot has never failed us, so we keep going back.


This year when we arrived, the selection of trees was a little slim. We had a few minutes of worry as we looked around. The lot was super busy, and it was clear the staff just didn't have time to open new trees from the giant pile of wrapped up trees. 


So, we took a big gamble and looked at the ones that were still tied up. We found a good height and something that looked fresh. And, we took the risk. 


After decorating.



And drinking our annual celebratory Mexican Coke.


Our gamble worked. And, I'm very glad we took the risk. Seriously, the most beautiful tree we've ever had.



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Monday, December 9, 2013

12 Weeks

According to the calendar, I'm somehow already 12 weeks {12w2d actually!} pregnant. This fact is continuously blowing my mind {as is the fact that I've barely blogged in weeks}. 

I've been so sick. Morning sickness for me, seems to mean nausea all the time, no matter what I do. This pregnancy, I've barely had cravings and I've had to force myself to eat anything. If I do crave something, a lot of the time it came right back out. So, I've been on zofran around the clock, which really helps, but doesn't seem to completely take away the misery. And, it didn't help that all three of us also came down with a head cold, that added its snotty-gross awfulness to the mix.

Thankfully, the last few days life has been better. I'm having more nausea free {although still on the meds} days. I've been able to skip a few doses of the medicine and I hope the good days will start out numbering the bad soon. And, there's very little hiding of the bump these days.


My energy level is slowly coming up too. On Friday, I took my last progesterone!! The progesterone is not easy to take, it made me so exhausted. It gave me super weird dreams that made it hard to sleep. And just generally made me feel gross. I'm very happy to be done with it. 

But, I'm most happy to report that Baby K 2.0 looks amazing and perfect. We had another ultrasound last Thursday, as many of you probably saw on Facebook. This was our 1st trimester genetic testing, and the baby looked great. The blood work was all perfectly normal and the sac on the back of the babies neck was measuring at a 1.2 {anything under 3 is normal}. The baby's heartbeat was 160, and he/she was measuring perfectly at 11 weeks 5 days. 

11w5d

The baby reminded me a lot of Henry. He/she was really wild and moving all over. Hands and legs were all over the place. It was stretching back and jumping up. It was amazing. I'm still in awe that there can be so much movement inside me and I have no idea. Morgan and I feel like we can finally get excited about this pregnancy.

Update for baby book purposes: 12 week OB appointment was great! We heard Baby K 2.0's heartbeat, it was 156 and everything looked great. 

Other than the baby news, life has been pretty calm. We've still been tot school and co-op, but just haven't had the energy to blog about it. I will hopefully get some updates out soon!

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