Sunday, March 24, 2013

A New Course

After our latest loss, I'm crushed. I poured too much hope into the progesterone. Hoping that it would be, as my OB said, "a slam dunk."

It changed nothing. Well, except making me feel nauseous, exhausted, and full of blinding rage for two weeks before dealing with a third miscarriage.

So, here we are. In the exact same place we were 15 months ago.

Following the events of two weeks ago, I saw my OB again. She and I both came to the agreement that there was nothing more she could do for Morgan and me. Instead she referred me to a fertility clinic -- cause: recurrent biochemical pregnancies.

Hate.

Well, this puts us on a totally new path. I'm not sure how far we'll follow it. Our insurance covers infertility diagnosis but not fertility treatment, and we can't bankrupt ourselves.

For now, we wait until April 24 -- for our first appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). Hopefully, after this visit we'll have a more concrete plan for how we will proceed.

I still have hope that my rainbow is out there, but it's just a little more in the distance than I originally thought.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop and Then it Does

I don't know what to write. I have nothing positive to say. No upside to this. Nothing.

On Friday, I took a pregnancy test. It was positive. I felt nothing. Well, I felt fear, and anxiety.

Saturday, I took another. Positive. Morgan and I let ourselves be happy for five minutes before going back to pretending like nothing was happening.

Sunday. More positives. But they aren't getting darker. Anxiety sets in.

Monday. Still faint positive. Cramping increases over the day. Heavy cramps by evening.

Today. The other shoe drops -- negative. Blood work done -- negative. Cramps increase and spotting starts. Doctor expects once progesterone is out of my system that cycle will officially end. 

I am numb. 

Three losses in less than nine months. Plus, whatever last month was

I'm only left asking why? Why me? Why is this happening? Why is it so hard for one healthy egg to meet one healthy sperm, implant and grow? 

I have a doctor's appointment on Friday so I'll hopefully I'll know more about where we go from here after that. We are likely looking at some sort of loss testing and maybe into a fertility specialist. But, honestly, I have to figure out if I want to go on trying. When is enough, enough, you know? 

Anyway, I might be absent for the next few days while I figure all of this out.  

Sunday, March 17, 2013

G is for Green Tot School

Henry is 24 months old.

This week we focused on letter G in tot school. In order to work in St. Patrick's Day, I decided to do G is for green. Henry didn't quite understand St. Patrick's day connection, but still really enjoyed the activities. Prior to this week Henry could identify the letter G but not the lowercase g. After the week, he still struggles with both. G has been one of the letters he hasn't been saying consistently, he also struggles with saying "G" words.


The first tray was a glass tray and cup. In the cup were a group of 10 plastic shamrocks. On the tray were a group of numbered cards. Then Henry could count out the same number of shamrocks as the number on the card. 


Henry really loved this tray, but not to count. He really enjoyed dumping out and filling up the shamrocks or pretending to drink them from the cup. He also liked lining up the cards by number. 


The second tray was a group of gorillas that Henry could arrange by size. I thought that he would really like this tray since gorillas are pretty much his favorite thing ever. So, of course he didn't like it and never used it.

The final tray was a little cup I decorated like a rainbow, a small glass cup, and a pair of tongs. In the cup was a set of gold coins. Henry could use tongs to put the coins into the "rainbow." Mostly, he just ignored the tongs and shoved the coins into the container. This was his favorite tray of the week.


We also had the sensory bin this week. Henry played with this quite a bit too. His favorites were some little monkeys {gorillas} and some gold jacks. 


Other things we did included:

Used our pom-pom rainbow sorters


Stickers to complete letter G


Dry Erase Shamrock


Made a Shamrock


Tot School
Montessori MondayFor the Kids Friday The Weekly Kids Co-Op at B-Inspired Mama

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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Montessori Inspired Cup and Ball Color Sorters

After the success of the Montessori Color Tablets that I made, I wanted to look for other ways for Henry to learn to sort colors by shade. Since Henry loves to stack, I thought these little flower pots, inspired by something I saw on Pinterest, were perfect. I used the same technique I used for the color tablets. 

So, I added increasing amounts of white paint to the blue color and painted both a clay flower pot and wooden ball. I repeated until I completed a set of five. 




The colors turned out a little too similar for my taste, so it will be a big challenge for Henry to complete. But he is sure enjoying trying. Seriously, he is in love with these. And I love that they challenge him to match the color and work his fine motor skills. 






 I could barely get pictures for this post he was so into them. I can't wait to make some more colors for him.


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Tuesday, March 12, 2013

TAT: Pet Peeves

Toddle Along Tuesday is back!! The topic this week is mommy pet-peeves. 

I'm not sure if people really get more annoying after you have a kid, or if my tolerance for annoying just went down. Some of my biggest pet peeves are:

  • Offering food to my kid before asking me if he can have it. I just love being the bad guy by denying my child treats when the whole situation could have been avoided by asking me first. ::eye roll:: 
  • Bothering my toddler when he's trying to eat at a restaurant.
  • Touching a stranger's child. Hands off, Grandma. I get it, he's cute but you don't like to be touched by strangers, do you? 
  • Making comments about my kid's size/weight without knowing anything about him. Lately, I've heard everything from "he's so big for his age" {which is laughable} to "don't you feed him?" {nope, not lately} 
I know there are others, but writing this list has sent me into a progesterone fueled rage. So, I'm going to leave it at that and let {baby} Henry do the side-eyeing.


What are your parenting pet-peeves? Any of mine make your list?


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Sunday, March 10, 2013

Tot School Farm Week 2

Like I said last week, Henry was gone for several days last week, so I decided to continue the Farm Theme at Tot School again this week.

We used the same trays as last week, which were still a big hit. So this week, I thought I would share all the other toddler farm activities we've been working on!



First up, our book bin was back this unit. Henry enjoyed the books, but still had a hard time dedicating tot school time to reading. I'm working on some big changes for our former book bin and activity wall, I just need some time to get it altogether!


Science Experiment: watch-them-grow farm capsules {Target dollar spot}. Henry loved these, and actually has still been playing with the little sponge shapes.


Lots of farm puzzles!

This was my favorite because the shapes didn't match the picture underneath. It was the perfect difficulty for Henry who has been transitioning to more complex puzzles, but still needs some help with where to place pieces.




Dot an F. But instead of using dot painters which Henry was getting tired of, I gave him stickers, which he loved.




Lots of farm themed toys including the iPlay Fun Tractor, Little People Farm, and Little Tikes Nesting Farm Animals! Farm unit seems to lend itself to a lot of great toys that make learning so fun. While these aren't necessarily geared for education, I think by playing with Hen and asking questions a lot of great learning took place.




Match the letter F game. I made a set of capital and lower case F's in corresponding fonts and colors, and then cut them apart. Henry could then match them up. He had a blast with this and played with it over and over for several days.


Dry erase tracing sheet. Henry still can't trace on his own, but will try with help. He mostly just wants to color.


Farm sheet from 1+1+1=1. I had Henry color this before we cut the pieces out and glued to another sheet. I made the mistake of trying to separate the crayons by color, which really made Henry mad for some reason -- ummm, toddlers are weird, that's best explanation for that. Anyway, he would barely color so the project was kind of a bust.






Food fun: lots of F's at breakfast!



It was a busy two weeks, but so much fun! I'm going to be sad to leave farms behind.

Tot School
Montessori MondayFor the Kids Friday The Weekly Kids Co-Op at B-Inspired Mama

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